Trying To Stay Positive


This blog is from 2015 when I first started blogging. Reading back on it now it is almost hard to imagine that I coped through this.

I haven’t been on here in a while so I do apologize! I have been feeling really unwell lately and I spend most of my spare time on the sofa, on the toilet or doing the housework.. I can’t stand a messy house! The picture above is from my long month hospital stay before surgery.

Last week on Thursday the 8th of July 2015 I took a really bad turn of vomiting and I could not get off the toilet… the sensation was like peeing through my rectum and then looked to see it was blood and the smell was horrific. I was sweating so much when I wiped my stomach my hand was instantly soaked with sweat, yuck! Still almost a week later, I don’t feel any better and after that night my trust in health professionals has been really let down. I was rushed in by ambulance and then put into a and e walk-in reception/room where I waited four and a half hours then to be told to go home without seeing a consultant or surgeon and none of my consultants etc were told I was in and a note was left on the system stating I had been in and gone but not describing why or my problems, so now I will be writing a complaint.

Today the doctor came to my house after calling my GP and NHS 24. I couldn’t eat at all and struggled to drink, she took some bloods and I will find them out tomorrow which is when I see my surgeon and stoma nurse. Lola is doing really well and working very well, although this past few days she has been seriously active and it is worrying me slightly. I have a very sore open wound right under my stoma which burns as if it is on fire so have been very uncomfortable for a while. I managed to get my bedroom decorated so I can now sleep in my own bed and not on the sofa anymore, woohoo! I love to make home improvements, there is always room for improvement in many aspects.

Some days I can get really down and find it hard to process why I have Lola and how it even happened. I can become very depressed at times too. I also like to call my parents and other family members regularly and find this really helps more than anything. I still cry quite a lot but I think it is healthy rather than holding it in and exploding into a terrible state!

Life can be cruel, but working together we can try to make it a better place and help each other.

Goodnight and take care.

Alannah x

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