I wanted to write a blog thanking people individually for all the support, love and advice I have had over a very hard few months. I didn’t know when it was the right time or how to word it. After last night’s scare of suspected sepsis it hit home just how much of a burden I can feel whilst in hospital. Possibly that I take the little things people do for me, for granted.
My first thankyou is to my Mum and Dad.
The endless nights over the past 10 years of sitting in hospital for hours on end till early hours of the morning. For taking me to hospital and attending appointments with me. For helping to fight my corner when so many health professionals have not listened. For fighting with me to get my diagnosis for 4 years. Holding my hand when I get injections or struggle with pain emotionally and physically. For financially supporting me through hospital admissions and surgery or when my clothes have gotten too big and I need pyjamas (still on going with weight loss and lack of clothes that fit just now!) For being there for all the times I’ve had a broken heart from friendships that broke me and relationships with men who left me at times of need, but there you were always there. For the hugs that sometimes I don’t like ( I don’t like to hug really lol) and holding me when I cry. For taking me out of the house from time to time or looking after the dogs and the house when I’m not here to do so. Most importantly for always being at the end of the phone when I need you.
My next thankyou is to my fiancé Jaimie.
Thankyou for coming into my life and showing me love and support. For breaking through the wall I built so high from all the hurt I’ve been through and to see that wall should never have been there. For helping me get dressed or making me cups of tea! Or when I am unable to walk to the toilet, you carry me there. For taking me places on really dark days and making sure I’m always okay even if I’m not. For being a great daddy to the doggies and taking care of them when I need to nap or shower. For sitting by my side during hospital stays and surgery till the early hours of the morning when you have had very little sleep and worked that day and have work the next day. Thankyou for loving me every day when I cannot love myself. For the surprise flowers and my favourite treats. Thankyou for holding my hair back when I vomit through silly hours of the morning and taking me to hospital appointments. Thankyou for showing me that a future is possible for us. But mostly I am thankful just for you being you.
To Louise and Rachel.
Thankyou for coming into my life and giving me that kick into blogging again. For supporting me through the most difficult time I have ever experienced in my life and always checking up on me and being there for me. For the advice and information you pass onto me about stomas and life in general. For guiding me into the right path when my anxiety had left me kafuzzled! For having me be a guest on your show and giving me a purpose again. For the girly chats about random sh!t. For being like another mother and auntie to me in one.
To IBDSupheros, The Colostomy Association, The Behcets Syndrome Society, Chronic Superstars, Chronically Successful, IBD Road to Remission, F.I.S.H.Y.S, IBD and Autoimmune Warriors.
Thankyou for being great Facebook groups where all sufferers can talk to each other, make new friendships, get advice, support and everything else inbetween! For supporting my blog and myself through a very rough time and giving me feedback on topics and taking part in my blogs. For fundraising, events, blogs and posting random funny crap that I am positive makes many people laugh!
To all friends.
Thankyou for always checking in on me and making sure I’m ok. To listening to my moaning and speaking crap at stupid o clock when I can’t sleep. For taking up that space in my life that was empty, when ‘friends’ from my past had left. For standing up for me when appropriate and supporting me through awful break ups. For the advice, love and random chats about poop or what it would be like to fart again! For cheering me up on bad days and for helping me fight through days where it just felt dark.
To my babies.
Thankyou for being portable hot water bottles and breathing dog breath in my face! For the kisses and cuddles I get daily and the spooning on the sofa or in bed. For the days when I am unwell and you never leave my side and watch over me. For the little stories you tell me whilst I am on the toilet (you always pick that time to do it!!) And reply to me when I say things in reply to the little groanings and squeaks! For making me feel like a mum, because even though you have fur and waggy tails the love i have for you is as if you came from me.
To my GP’s, Doctors, Surgeons, Nurses and Specialists that understand my conditions and complex issues.
Thankyou for seeing me at short notice or for calling me back on the same day and don’t judge me. Thankyou for not being all the same and not presuming like many health professionals that just because I look OK means that I am OK. For saving my life multiple times, had it not been for many of you I would simply not be here today. For helping me medically and emotionally with needles, pain, sickness, swelling, blood loss, fainting and all that comes along with my conditions. For giving me appropriate medications when I need them. For giving me advice and explaining things to my family. For holding my hand whilst being put to sleep or having a sore injection in my butt or stomach. The most important thankyou is for helping me get my diagnosis’.
To all others who I meet in support groups, through my blog or my Twitter.
Thankyou for helping and advising me when I have no idea what to do or what to expect etc. For sharing your stories and experiences to help others. For being brave and despite your own issues, being there for me and others who are unwell.
To my best friends who I have met through gaming in the Discord cult Gameplay Church #GPB.
Thankyou for the long talks about random crap and mostly about League of Legends and bands and all sorts! For trying to understand my illnesses and showing compassion and support. For making me laugh when I’m down in the dumps. For the funny moments of toxicity in a game and saying funny sh!t. For supporting me and jaimie through a hard time and keeping us going! For making us all in there feel like family. For the nickname Moana because it is my favourite film and always playing the songs from it and singing along! And thankyou for giving me friendships which give me the chance to get away every once in a while to visit!
To all other people who help in many other ways.
Thankyou. Thankyou for a roof over my head, running water, being able to buy food, keep my dogs healthy and emotional support. For the financial and all other types of support. Thankyou to the NHS that I am able to get stoma supplies and medications, scans and tests, doctors nurses and all medical professionals (even if some are not understanding!).
And to all the people who hurt me, left or made life harder for me.
Thankyou. Thankyou for breaking my heart. Thankyou for leaving and showing/revealing the good people. For letting me see that life is better without you. For giving me life experience and lessons and to learn from my mistakes. For the times that any one of you were helpful at one time. For shaping my life into how it is now and making me who I am. For treating me the way you did which has left me strong and able to not put up with crap from anyone. For giving me a back bone and to be open and honest. For giving me daily reminders why I am glad you left. Thankyou for taking your negativity elsewhere and making me free from it.
Thankyou to all my readers who continue to follow and read my blogs!
And thankyou to those who share their stories on my blog and for taking part in stories!