Personal Blogs

We Are Expecting!

Proud Big Brother To Be! Mr.Biggles!

Super late in updating my blog on all the news and changes we have had the past few months! As you can see in the picture of our proud boy Biggie, we are expecting our rainbow baby in October this year! This week I am 16 weeks (12/05) and I’m not going to lie, pregnancy has been REALLY tough for my body. The morning sickness that doesn’t just occur in the mornings (weird, right?) has been all day every day, relying on antisickness meds just so I am able to keep water down and be able to eat. Prior to us finding out at 6 weeks, life was really tough and my mental health wasn’t doing so well with a lot of stress around where we were and that in turn was making me super unwell. Just a few weeks before taking my first pregnancy test, we had went to view a house out in the country and had been accepted for it! It was SO meant to be! Thanks to family and friends, we got moved in a couple of hours about a month ago. We still have to paint our bedroom, the babies room and hallway but we have plenty time!

So for my pregnancy, I have a consultant and midwife with a planned C Section under General Aesthetic for my birth plan at approx 39 weeks, all being well. I know on my social medias I answer everyone’s questions there but just on the off chance that you didn’t see the posts, here are some questions I have been asked quite a few times:

  • “What advice do you have for other ostomates or chronically ill people who want to have a family?” – My first most encouraging advice is DON’T have the stress of trying, don’t try. Now this may seem a weird thing to say but continue reading and you’ll see what I mean! My partner Jaimie also has a permanent stoma and ken butt so you would think our odds would have been made very difficult! We had been trying for a while but I had a miscarry last November and I lost all hope and we stopped trying. The one advice I’ve always been given is not to try, it will happen when it is meant to – and that’s exactly what happened. I always found that saying so cliché but it proved me wrong! PLEASE note that this does NOT apply to those with fertility issues. If you are concerned about this being an issue I really do advise to see your GP or specialists for the appropriate referral to have a consultation and tests done to determine this.
  • ” How did you meet our partner and is he excited to be a dad?!” – Jaimie and I met actually when I was just 17 after I was newly diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease via Facebook when I had made a group for those local here with IBD because I knew nobody with it and felt very alone. We spoke for a little while then lost contact as I was in a very toxic and abusive relationship. Then at the end of 2017, we met again on Instagram and Jaimie had not long had surgery for his permanent stoma and needed advice and just someone to talk to who could relate! He was in a relationship at the time so I thought nothing more of it as helping someone who was new to stoma life, as did he! After a while, the relationship came to an end and we were both gamers, now at this time my laptop was away being repaired AGAIN (lol) and so he offered for me to borrow his! So sweet! After that, we have been inseparable. This year in November will mark our 4 years together. Has it been easy? No! We have had many obstacles to pass, a miscarry, failing to become pregnant, past people, current people, normal daily stresses, hospital stays, surgeries, moving house twice, mental health, pain and grief. But we got through it! It helps that we both have permanent stomas because we understand each other. Jaimie is super excited to be a dad but we are both absolutely shitting it too! life is by far perfect but we make the most of what we have and tackle what comes our way as a team.
  • “Why can you not have a natural labour for the birth of the baby?” – I have a permanent stoma with a barbie butt that has not healed, I had the operation 6 years ago (no nothing you advise me will work as I’ve probably already tried it!) Because of this being one of my complications from Crohn’s Disease, the wound area is full of blood vessels which if too much pressure was to be had there it wouldn’t be pretty and exposes me to some real dangers. Due to having my permanent stoma, fistulas and abscesses and the surgeries for those, I have a build up of scar tissue. I am a high risk pregnancy which means that they have decided a C Section at 39 weeks is best to avoid any complications that may occur during labour and avoid any danger to myself and/or the baby. I have severe PTSD when in hospital environments or busy and panic provoking environments which leaves me frantic, spewing, shaking, unable to stand from shaking, dizzy and sets of my asthma and I have a panic attack and asthma attack at the same time. I have nerve damage in my back as a result from my stoma and barbie butt surgeries meaning an epidural is not an option and would make my long term chronic back pain and sciatica much more worse. I have a rare type of Crohn’s Disease which is all below my belly button so inside my pelvis, my vagina and inside the perineal wound where my butt used to be. This means I have SO much fistulas all inside my pelvis going from here to there so they in themselves cause a few complications. I also have a fluid collection where my rectum used to be, this drains through my sinuses and main large fistula. As far as I know these can be prone to infection etc however I’m not 100% on what would happen with this in a natural labour but I can imagine nothing good!

Many people CAN have a natural birth with a permanent ostomy so don’t let this put you off if you are an ostomy mum to be or plan on having kids and you have an ostomy. This is the result of my birth plan that has been made for me and my baby by a consultant and 2 midwifes! Always some positives with the less positive!

The plan until the C Section is regular growth scans, monthly appointments with my consultant, check ups with my Midwife and remaining on antisickness unless that changes and the sickness goes away, which I am REALLY hoping for! I had my physio appointment this week so I have some light exercises to do which includes pelvic floor muscles, try to go for walks when I can (which isn’t often due to being so sick and in pain) and resting as much as possible. We have our gender scan booked for next month too which will be nice! I have my first face to face appointment with my midwife this week too. I am really nervous but excited too! I’ve also joined some Facebook groups that are for mums with IBD and an Ostomy which has helped me massively – there are other women there that I can relate to that has not enjoyed pregnancy either and been really unwell during. The only downside I have found is sadly that a lot of my family haven’t bothered to congratulate me, message me to see how I am or interact with me or just to see if I need anything or any help. It was stressing me out and upsetting me so much seeing them all interact with each others posts, going out together etc and I couldn’t even get one message or a congratulations so for my own mental wellbeing and eliminating stress, I deleted them out of my life. The very close family that we do have, have been amazing!! Friends too! Always messaging to check up on me, video calls, phone calls and supporting me really well. Super grateful for those that have stuck by me and continue to join me on the journey to parenthood!

Please feel free to message me on my social media for a chat if you are going through the same, need advice on pregnancy or if you have any questions that I haven’t already answered! ❤

Chronic Illness Blogs, Mental Health Blogs, Personal Blogs

Goodbye 2020!

Ahh, a day that felt so long away.. Hogmanay!

As we sit and think about the year 2020, it’s safe to say that we are all glad to see it go behind us. It has been a challenging year for most but even more so for those who have had to isolate, fight the virus or shield. Many loved ones have passed on, many changes have happened, friendships lost and gained and lots of laughter and tears has been shared with each and every one of us! The start of 2021 certainly isn’t going to be easy, with restrictions and tiers still in place to keep us safe. Video calls and speaking to loved ones over the internet has hit a peak that many never had really interacted with before!

I, for one, am so glad to wave goodbye to 2020 and the negative people, bullies, trolls and fake people with it! Welcoming all new great things that wait for me in 2021! I hope for more than anything, to see friends I haven’t been able to see and hug for so, so long. To make lovely memories, watch people grow and also see their loved ones! Maybe even a holiday with my better half and taking lots of pictures. I am wishing all my readers, friends, family, fellow ostomates and chronically ill peeps better health for next year however unpredictable illness and life can be! For anyone who has been suffering with their mental health, I hope you find that little bit of something that keeps you hanging on and pushing forward through the daily challenges you face. I also hope for people to treat others kindly with more compassion and to be more understanding that mental health affects so many people, whether you like them or not! Being kind, less rude and less negative towards others makes so much of a difference. You don’t have to be someone’s friend to be kind!

This is also a good time for you to reflect on who has really been there for you, kind to you and supported you. If people have been unsupportive, rude, unkind and horrible to you, cut them out and really pay them no notice! This doesn’t mean to treat them the same way back though!! Look after yourselves and however you are spending the last day of 2020, I hope that it is being safe by following covid restrictions from your tier and full of happiness! Ours will be spent with chinese food, a bubble bath and gaming with friends!

I will continue to do the same raising awareness, talking about taboo subjects, highlighting areas that need light and making vlogs, blogs and tiktoks in 2021, too!

Lots of love and best wishes for 2021, Alannah.

Chronic Illness Blogs, Mental Health Blogs, People's Stories!

Trilogy of Chronic Illness stories Part 1

Hey, My names Aron and what you see is what you get! I’m a happy fun loving going person but that’s just on the outside, on the inside it’s a different story…….if you are a frequent reader of this blog then you will understand about what I’m going to say next. I have Crohns Disease which is a form of Inflammatory Bowel Disease. In short some foods I eat give me a great deal of pain. I have another hidden condition called CSS – Centralise Sensitivity Syndrome.

CSS makes a selective group of nerves in your body over sensitive so its just really unlucky that CSS has chosen my bowels to attack, so this means anything that passes through my bowel e.g. food, liquid and wind gives me the most pain I have ever experienced but as always it will get better in time doctors say. However I will always be in some sort of pain as it is a life long condition.. Yes I’m always In pain and it sucks, I wake up in shock every morning it is slowly getting better with the new neurotic pain killers I have been prescribed. CSS & CD  work hand in hand unfortunately, so if I have a flair up it will cause me a lot more pain than the average person and it will last longer than a ‘normal’ day of pain. I feel embarrassed when I have to walk around with a walking stick, I know I shouldn’t but I do. I am young (24) so walking around with a walking stick at my age in public is hard. One day soon I will be able to walk without it, if not then I’m hopeful I wont feel embarrassed in the future.

I have a lot of support around me! My cousins have made a real effort to keep me company. Kai and me started playing the PS2 to pass the time, oh yeah sorry I forgot to mention I’m under home rest for the next 4 months! So this should be fun! The game we are working through is Lord Of The Rings Return Of The King. I’ve been playing some old school PS1 games like Bugs Bunny Lost in Time & Bugs and Taz Time Busters, too. Keep yourself busy they say! I have also got a PC/xbox one/Ipad/PS2 so I’m never going to be bored. I also will be doing a lot of researching on a editing software called Hitfilm – this will be taking a lot of my time up due to the fact I want to create a Platform or social media presents/group by making videos on my conditions. I’ll be doing a series of me telling peoples stories about the incurable conditions.

I haven’t suffered from CSS for long so what I’m going to talk about mainly comes from having Crohns. Being a male and having Crohns is challenging! In this day and age yes it’s okay to be male and sensitive but only online or in a support group. What about people like me who’s friends hold ‘banta’ to a high standard? They are ‘lads’ but that doesn’t mean they don’t care! They are my boys. Sometimes though there will be a comment made and I would have to bite my tongue because I’m a ‘LAD’ and get told to stop being so sensitive sometimes. Also shitting myself now THAT is not easy (well it’s easy enough to do it without knowing!) The worst time this happened believe it or not was when I was in bed in a nice apartment I was renting with a beautiful girl. Luckily she helped me clean it up and it only gets brought up when we want a laugh now. As time went on I think being a male and having this condition gets easier, well it did for me because I just accepted that no matter what gender we are, we are all going through something that can’t be cured and I shouldn’t feel embarrassed about anything. I can now laugh about me shitting myself with the boys due to their support. They are also really understanding if I’m on the toilet too long!

Just before I finish up here, I want to say that support is a massive thing no matter what you are going through. The one/two people who make it worth it wakening up everyday is my Mum and my Auntie, the support from these two is what I will always need but my Mum is the real rock star! She is the main reason I’m still fighting. She’s the most caring person (when it comes to family) and I’m so lucky that I have her to help me.

Arons Social Medias:

Twitterhttps://twitter.com/azzahodge

YouTubeDealing With It