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Trilogy of Chronic Illness Stories Part 2

Ashley’s Story

I grew up in Skye and then moved to Norfolk in 2002. I had a really normal childhood without any health problems until 2011 when I was diagnosed with Crohn’s Disease. I then had major surgery for a stoma in 2016 which was a huge shock to me but I am really glad I had this done. As well as being Chronically Ill I am also known as Genderfluid. Being genderfluid is really hard to explain, in simple terms I am me, both sides of ash are equally me, I hid this part of me of many years and it really affected my mental heath and I hated my body. This led to self harming and Depression. If you aren’t sure what Genderfluid means, it means that a person who is Genderfluid doesn’t go by a fixed gender so being male or female, they can be both hence the “fluid”.

I have had many challenges thrown at me during my life, the biggest challenge going through all the symptoms that comes along with Crohns Disease. The weight gain is the worst.. before Crohn’s I was 7 stone, steroids soon changed that! I’ve never been able to lose it and I’m 14 stone now. I haven’t always had the best care from doctor’s which I am sure many people with a Chronic Illness have experienced! I was on steroids for two years straight before a doctor mentioned Osteoporosis so a bone scan was booked and the results had shown that I had developed it in my back and hip from being on steroids too long. Another hurdle I’ve had to face is pain killer addiction due to the severity of the pain I was in daily, taking 50 pills per day just to get me through and attempt to help with everything I had going on. This wasn’t helped due to being handed stronger and stronger pain medication without any questions asked or a real pain management plan/checkup.

If I wasn’t Chronically Ill I would be making plans to follow in my fathers footsteps of a career in the army. I’m now 30 and luckily I have been blessed to have a daughter and I have a partner now who accepts me being genderfluid and we have been together since 2008. My girlfriend Helen has been there the most for me, everything that I have gone through, Helen has been there. I love to travel to my favourite places and so far I have travelled to Edinburgh and Lowestoft. I love nature, nothing beats the feeling and buzz of being truly lost in a forest surrounded by gorgeous trees and scenery. I am also a Christian which has helped me throughout life. Being Christian and Genderfluid is not a big thing to me, god made me as I am.

If you are struggling with any of the issues talked about in this blog please visit the LGBT Foundation, IBD Superheros or speak to your doctor who can offer support and advice. You can find Ashley on his instagram here.

Chronic Illness Blogs, Life With A Stoma, Mental Health Blogs

We Have Moved!

Baux and myself settled in!

It’s been a while since I gave you all an update! My laptop got completely rebooted by my friend John who used to work in a computer shop and now fixes computers etc in his spare time. So even though my laptop has been fixed you’re probably wondering why I haven’t been blogging! For the past few months we had been preparing to move so we had to clear out E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G because I had way too much stuff!

We have been in our new place a week past Sunday and we are absolutely loving it! What had drawn us to this place the most was that there was a bath and shower separate in the bathroom and there is no big garden so we hadn’t the need to to cut grass as we struggled with that at the last place. To start with at the new house I really struggled as just three days before moving I had dislocated my knee cap twice so I had this awful leg brace on and I couldn’t walk properly (it’s still causing me pain.) The bath has been absolutely lush and I have been using my bath bombs! We had another few hurdles to bypass whilst moving which included my huge bedroom wardrobe having to be taken to bits and rebuilt and other minor little things. The dogs have settled in so much better than we expected too which has been great. The best part though is not living under temporary accommodation anymore and having anyone with issues living above and also not having a party animal living above making my life an absolute hell anymore.

My health is up and down at the moment.. stomach pain has been quite intense, my reflux hasn’t been great with frequent heartburn and feeling sick, my headaches have returned again, joints are not so well and I am super exhausted. Stoma wise I have been having A LOT of bag leaks. Luckily I haven’t needed to visit the doctors since my knee dislocation but who knows how long that will last – all chronically ill people know the drill with that! Emotionally it has been a really rough ride through 2020 so far and I got to a really bad place where I really was not coping after loosing my Aunt Nina, and old school friend and an old work friend. Hopefully though this is the start of a better period of time with two friends expecting baby girls I am super excited for them to arrive!!

So for now, my time is spent playing Animal Crossing, trying to sort out the new house, resting and catching up with Family and Friends. I have been told due to my Hyper Mobility Syndrome that dislocations are very common and it will more than likely happen again (but im going to hope NOT! Its so painful.) Today it is SUPER cold so I had a shower, got back into my P+J’s, put on harry potter and my partner and his sister are baking some goodies including my favourite – chocolate sponge cake with cream!! I hope you enjoy your day ❤